Part 2: Life Code 2: Live Satisfied - Living Unlocked
Life after the loop begins to take shape and form and becomes fundamentally different.
Fear is still present and selfishness is now in our awareness and not perfectly resolved. And yet something fundamentally shifts in the quality of how we show up. The giving that was once driven by fear or calculation begins to come from somewhere deeper and with much more intention and awareness. And this is what becomes possible when we begin living this life code.
From Contraction to Intelligence
The contraction of selfishness is a survival stage. It can be understood both as a stage in a process over time and as a stage we perform on where the behaviors we access are ingrained scripts we use to maintain a felt sense of safety. Our scripts were formed in childhood, around the age of seven, built by a child mind doing its best to make sense of the world it was born into. There is nothing wrong in how they formed. They keep us alive and moving forward until we discover what more is possible.
The challenge is that our beliefs and awareness of the resulting behaviors have yet to become part of our every day common conversations. Unless life has forced us into change through circumstances that make our internal world unbearable, most of us are never introduced to the possibility of rewriting our beliefs. Which is exactly why these life codes exist: to bring these concepts into everyday awareness, so the shift becomes available before the life demands it.
Selfishness, underneath its contraction, is always protecting a seed of intelligence. An intelligence that knows how to give, what to give, and where giving will actually take root. This is altruism and unlike anything the mind constructs as it is a natural force that governs reality.
We see it most clearly in the animal kingdom in a pod of dolphins. There exists what is called a pod mind: an invisible field that moves through all members simultaneously, monitoring the whole. When one is in danger, all respond. There is no deliberation. It is the nature of the field they create together. This same concept exists for humanity as well. We live in a field that helps us collectively steward our collective wellbeing and ensure we are all genuinely nourished.
We gain access to the field of altruism when we choose to ensure we are nourished giving us access to overflow rather than fear. And from that place, we tap into the same quality of field intelligence as the pod mind of dolphins: a knowing, in each moment, of what is worth giving and to whom.
This intelligence often appears unconventional to others as it cannot be mapped out in advance or applied as a rule. It is specific to each moment, person and situation accessible only through our own felt sense of what is true right now and what we have access to giving in that moment.
The field of altruism tells us. Our own inner knowing, when we are resourced enough to hear it, is always the most accurate guide to what genuine care looks like in that moment.
This is also the nature of community. When each of us works to seed fertile ground in our own lives, those around us gain access to the inspiration and evidence that it is possible. We become models of what overflow looks like for others to follow. Much like learning a foreign language, there is no way to learn a language we have never heard.
When we demonstrate altruistic care without strings and in that demonstration, we create conditions where others can begin to do the same in their own way, in their own time.
Altruism is fierce and discerning. It gives differently than self-sacrifice, which scatters itself on infertile ground and depletes itself sustaining dynamics that won’t grow. True care requires fertile soil and supports our self and others mutually towards our own innate capacity for self-nourishment which is inter-dependence rather than feeding a dynamic of co-dependence.
Altruism is unbound by social approval and can disregard convention entirely when authentic care demands it, the way a parent responds to a child in need, with no hesitation or performance. This is embodied intelligence in action, and it looks completely different from the survival scripts we have been conditioned with.
It is also worth naming clearly: these concepts are not a bypass for complex relational dynamics. Co-dependency, abuse, and deeply ingrained survival patterns are far more layered than a shift in awareness alone can address. What this teaching points to is the foundation beneath all of that: our own nourishment comes first, always, because we can only truly support others toward their own wholeness from a place of genuine overflow. We cannot give what we do not have. And when we do have it, we do not need a rulebook as the field of intelligence that is altruism tells us what to do.
What Giving From Fullness Actually Feels Like
When we give from overflow, purpose arrives the way water finds its way through stone: consistent and inevitable. Our giving and the sense of meaning are the same movement and are inseparable.
This is why altruism is one of the most powerful healing forces available to us. Those who carry this quality of giving create an immediate environment around them of trust. Others feel it before they can understand it. Guards drop. Hearts open. Some receive genuine nurturing for the first time in their lives.
Something in the quality of the care that is available feels safe at a cellular level, triggering communal security allowing the group mind to activate and what was in isolation begins to belong again.
This quality of giving also extends to nature, to cycles, to the rhythms of life itself. The person living this gift becomes a gardener in the widest sense, attuned to what is ready to grow and what needs more time, patient with process, nourished by the act of tending. They feel the particular pull toward those who are struggling, and they respond with care rather than obligation, because the heart moves naturally toward what needs tending.
If reading this activates a feeling of inferiority or like this all sounds too good to be true, that feeling is worth honoring and turning towards. Our nervous system has been running the same survival scripts our entire life. The beliefs that shape our behaviors are formed around the age of seven, and from that point forward our brains built entire neural-networks that drive all our behavior.
Our bodies take in millions of bits of data each second and run our programmed responses, often for decades, with no interruption. This is simply how we as humans function. There is no moral weight to what our neurons do as our normal. There is no way of navigating without them and all any of us can ever do is the best with what we have. There is no way for us to ever be behind, bad or wrong when we are doing our best and showing up as our programmed self seeking to shift our programmed responses is all we can ever do.
As mentioned in part one, there is no morality when it comes to our programed beliefs and those who appear to have arrived at a life of overflow are also running the same fundamental code as the person just beginning to see the loop for the first time. One could perceive this as further along in the same process and as mentioned, to live satisfied we build the beliefs that allow us to radically accept the highs and lows equally. Neither better nor worst and all opportunities to develop our capacity of nourishment that moves through all of us equally.
So if this section lands with a feeling of not being there yet, the most powerful response is always to give by detaching from the feeling of detachment and meet ones self and the moment with giving knowing that the law always points to the act of giving will release the loop. And again, these behaviors that reinforce survival loops are hard wired into the very fundamental survival programming of our body so it can take multiple seasons and years to gain the traction we long for as it all loosens gradually, layer by layer, as we continue to give and bring more presence to what is actually happening in us right now. That is the only practice for this life code.
Each moment, met honestly, shapes the next one so with nowhere to get to other than the totality of our present moment there is really only one thing we can ever do to live satisfied. Giving to our self and our environment what we can honestly bring from overflow compared to self-sacrifice may be as foreign as walking to a newborn. And as we continue to show up in the present moment with the intention to give we will develop the neurology to make this way of living as easy as the most basic things we find easy to do every day.
If you would like more support in navigating the nuances of this life code there is a link at the top of this page to join the All of Us Skool Community where you can deep dive into a step-by-step process for how to begin the initial stage of living satisfied which is learning to become a Sovereign Nourisher which is the first stage in a seven stage process of fully embodying the life code of living satisfied.
The Seven-Year Truth
As mentioned, we develop our foundational beliefs at the age of seven when we begin to develop our pre-frontal cortex which continues developing into our 20s. There is a specific order to this as every cell in our body is replaced over the course of seven years.
And our first seven years of life are the foundation upon which everything else is built. What is forged in that window, is our initial relationship to safety and care and what we believe about it based on the influence from our primary caregivers. This builds our psyche or what could be seen as our egoic structure and everything we think, feel and believe from that point forward is all built upon what our child like mind determined about those relationship dynamics. What comes after builds on what we picked to believe at the age of seven.
Those who have access to overflow and the intelligence of the field of altruism will naturally feel a pressure to be present with their children especially in the first seven years of their life. When we are absent from our children, physically or emotionally, there is a cost felt in our entire body. When we are present, something is passed on that cannot be taught any other way: the living experience of learning what it is like to be nourished, which only from this soil does our altruistic nature grow.
Life arranges all manner of circumstances where families are required to split and life will provide us opportunities to repair what wasn’t modeled to us through our relationships and learning to parent our own selves. And life will always give us opportunities to learn these fundamental ways of existing until we learn how to live satisfied.
Living With Fear
If altruism is the warmth that flows outward, there is a trust that flows forward known as totality and both move together as one. Totality looks like living alongside fear, welcoming the unexpected, knowing the universal law of change is constant, and staying committed to our own nourishment through all of it.
Our survival programming naturally produces one of two patterns when it comes to change and commitment. One pattern locks us into a fixed position, deeply committed to a way of being and unable to change when life asks for something new. The other keeps us in constant motion, able to change freely and unable to commit to anything long enough for it to take root. Both are the survival brain doing what it was designed to do: keep us safe by controlling either the outcome or the options.
Totality is what emerges when neither pole is running the show. It holds movement and devotion together and does not arrive through effort or discipline. It arises naturally as the survival scripts loosen their grip, the same way giving from fullness does, as a result of presence that becomes available when we are no longer spending our energy managing fear.
To live with totality is to allow life to move through us rather than be managed from a position of fear. The mind wants to come up with thoughts that leads to postponing what we need, this is often seen as procrastination, and is simply survival beliefs we now have as a result of what we chose to believe at the age of seven.
As a result we place our purpose in the future, in achievement, in the completion of something and runs calculations about what is safe and what is not all determined by the foundational beliefs we built around love and care from our childhood. In doing so, it keeps us one step removed from the only place where purpose actually lives: in the present moment, as it is, right now.
Every situation life brings us is an invitation to remain as we are, or expand. This is how we evolve. When our fears, obstructions, losses cause life to go differently than planned: this is all part of it. Every moment carries something that, when we turn toward it directly, reveals itself as exactly what was needed. And the way we relate to it determines if it works for or against us, which culturally this has taken the linguistic form of calling something from God or demonic. When all of it is fundamentally neutral and how we respond is what makes something fundamentally beneficial or detriment to our nourishment of life and ultimate flourishing.
This is what the great mythic stories have always mapped. A hero who enters a world others were not willing to enter and comes out on the other side as someone much more capable and able to better understand who they truly are in relationship with reality. This process has been coined in psychology as individuation, whereas the shaman calls it soul retrieval.
The fundamental truth is that we are all the hero of our own reality and putting the hero position on select members of society compared to everyone who has access to the field of altruism is what continues to cause humanity to be under nourished when we all have access to nurturing and tending to the collective soil our society grows from.
So in summary, we grow by going through what is before us as fully as possible and what we find inside difficulty is always more of ourselves.
The Risk Worth Taking
Totality looks like a continual taking of risks, building something we cannot yet see until it is complete, the path of our own future discloses itself only one step at a time. When we surrender our need to see the whole map and trust the next step we develop a trust that allows us to show up fully to a moment. And when we show up completely for a relationship, a creative act, a hard conversation, a quiet morning, life responds.
The more deeply we accept each feeling of delight or fear as they pop up, the lighter we become, and the more love is able to expand toward the life we are living allowing our fears to quiet making other thoughts and feelings possible.
The natural byproduct is the impulse to serve something larger than our own self. This is the natural redirection of energy that has been freed from the work of survival. When we are living from overflow rather than being forced to maintain a closed fist to survive, capacity and resources become available for genuine contribution.
Purpose arrives as an intuitive feeling moving through us from the field of altruism as we align ourselves to it.
The Reward
Whatever role we find ourselves playing in the game of life, as long as our commitment to it is total, something becomes available to us. Detachment. The freedom to be fully ourselves within an environment. This detachment is the reward of having nothing to prove and nothing to protect, because we have already given ourselves completely.
Those who live this become a quiet anchor that cultivates an environment that allows others to feel safe enough to be themselves too. Which as we have learned this is not something that is always easily available if those in the environment have yet to discovered how to break out of the trap of fear that is keeping them safe and closed off from the field of altruism.
Those who live total handle adversity lightly, as they have stopped resisting what is happening in life. And the ability give from overflow creates a whole different fundamental reality where the human spirit is most alive, generous and present allowing each person to create something that outlasts them.
With the fear of death losing its grip when life is being lived with purpose, questions rooted in fear begin to loosen and there is a deep well of joy that comes knowing our time on earth is limited and develops a well of energy and inspiration we can draw on in difficult times.
In every moment, giving and receiving are one movement. Fear and purpose are one movement. And the individuated self and the whole are one movement.
This is what it means to live satisfied where one is so fully here that there is complete satisfaction with all that is exactly as it is. This allows us to keep our hands and hearts open resulting in giving that flows which allows receiving to flow just as equally. And this is how life was always meant to be.
If you feel ready to begin exploring the seven stages of this life code be sure to join our Skool Community to be notified when the educational lessons are available for each of the seven stages.
